08 May 2015

German

The really cool thing about human beings is that there is such a variety within one group. The big discussion now, as it has been for so many years, is the separation between races, classes, regions, religions; and I don't mean to praise those - the empty classifications that are specifically geared to divide. I mean to take the human race as a whole and look beyond just the physical and see what a distinct group we really are. Look at stories, experiences, tastes, whether we put apples or cinnamon on our oatmeal, whether we eat oatmeal at all, what image leaps to mind at the mention of a word or a name. Naturally this includes opinions but consider preferences as well - those unspoken familiarities that we don't feel the need to explain. There is such a wide range of everything within the human race that no two people can truly be alike: somewhere along the way you'll have a disconnect.

Since you are trapped within your own preferences and your neighbor is cocooned in his, it's no wonder we don't often see eye-to-eye without explanation. And even then you run the risk of finding no solution, but rather must be satisfied with a draw. I went in to a discussion the other day with the understanding that we may not reach a right or wrong - we might leave this meeting "agreeing to disagree."

I didn't think that was an option. I thought someone always caved.

This is difficult for those of us who like for the advice we bestow to be heeded. But it makes sense. The advice we give comes from experiences we had, but what would have been perfect for what we were going through at the time may not be what someone else needs (or wants) to hear. But still we give it and risk a relationship for the sake of our self-dubbed "wisdom" to be heard.

Which is better: to say what you think and feel the echo of "I told you so" in an hour of collapse, or keep silent and bear the brunt of "why didn't you tell me"?

What if your silence is driven by past hurt and a calloused heart rather than the feeling of the other person? Does that make you terribly selfish?

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