Love

What is love?

The boys in my German class said it was a plea to "don't hurt me, don't hurt me no more." "Sweet Home Alabama" taught me that it meant that "I can kiss you any time I want." Pinterest says it's "friendship set on fire."

The man who has my heart wrote in a letter that it is agapé: affection, goodwill, benevolence, brotherly love. For the longest time he was the one I felt those words most for but had only heard whispered and returned once, and he set aside the Greek word to put in a letter to the one he swore he'd marry one of these days. We reserved the words "I love you" until the day he asked me to marry him, which was this past Wednesday. And they are made so much more special for that reason.

I wonder if the writer of the "love is" section meant the "is" to mean "means." (Confused yet?) The way they have it set up makes it sound like these things are characteristics of love. What if it's actually supposed to be, "Love MEANS TO BE kind, love MEANS TO BE patient. Love doesn't keep track of who didn't empty the dishwasher or who forgot the other's birthday. Love means not being focused on what you can get, but being more interested in what you can give. Love doesn't begrudge a hug to the hurting, keeps its head up even when the chips are down, isn't afraid to stand strong under pressure, doesn't fight to make itself look better." When you give it this twist, it makes it much less limited in the relationships that can be defined by "love;" it's not just the person you could marry. I love only one man in the sense that Pinterest means it, and I am so happy that now I can finally say it to him. But I extend the actions of what love MEANS not only to him but to others on a daily basis without interest in romance or reciprocity.

Valentine's Day gets a nasty reputation in single communities because of the romantic overtones it has been associated with. But it doesn't have to be reserved for soul mates and lovers. Give it a new twist. Make today a chance for you to show what love MEANS rather than what love IS.