Manage

For the first time in a long while I feel like I have a handle on things. I'm up to date on rent. I've worked three jobs this week and have extra hours lined up for next week. I have two pay checks to deposit. I filled up my truck with gas and made a grocery list on the waterproof notepad in my shower and got the basement ready for Joe and made a coffee date for next week and set up a dentist appointment and got a haircut (and regretted a haircut) and cleaned/reorganized my room and ordered checks and requested a new debit card. And while that card still says I'm a minor (which I am clearly not and have not been for quite some time), I'm starting to get the hang of this whole grown-up thing. Admittedly I did not handle the transition with much finesse: I clomped around with this chip on my shoulder like I had somehow been wronged by the universe as I was forced to do what everybody else does to get by. But it's far better to sulk for a while then get on with it than to fight to maintain a childlike status that doesn't get anybody anywhere.

I think I started to be OK with it the other day, when I came home from work at my side job the other day to clean my house and get everything ready for two of my work friends to come over. We ate taco soup made the day before so all I had to do was heat it up, but for the most part I prepared myself. And for the last few days I've been fairly self-motivated to do things, in and out of the house. And it's not as hard as I've been making it out to be.

I talked to Joey about moving and paying rent and everything, and he said he just saw it as something he had to do, and that was that. It's definitely not easy to look at paying bills and such with excitement, but it's certainly easier to handle if you view it with a shrug and a "this is what we do now" than with huffing and indignation.

I know it probably sounds silly to you who have been doing this for a while, but bear with me. This is all very new and different for me.